I’m a little late to the discussion, but I believe this is still an important topic. As some of you know, Target has been facing backlash from their decision to allow transgender persons to enter the bathroom of their preference in Target stores. This decision and announcement came shortly after legislative bills, coined “bathroom bills,” were passed in North Carolina and other states. In their simplest form, these bills are meant to keep people who were born with male anatomy at birth in men’s restrooms and people born with female anatomy at birth in women’s restrooms. This applies to the public sphere, but private companies can choose to make their own policies. This is where Target has spoken up. They have made it known that transgender people may use the restroom corresponding to the gender with which they identify.

As some of you also know, I work at Target. I stock shelves, occasionally cashier, and work on the floor and in the backroom from time to time. I’m only part time, but that allows me to focus on writing and spending time with my husband during our first year of marriage. When Corporate first made the announcement, I didn’t think twice about it. Then, I realized that our particular store, which is fairly small compared to other Targets, did not have a family bathroom or a gender neutral bathroom. It frustrated me that they’d make that kind of statement without tangible action to back it up. Having a third restroom option available might be the most comfortable for some transgender people. Thankfully, I heard the CEO say that Target’s goal was to put a single occupancy or family restroom in each store that didn’t already have one. I felt less frustrated after that.

Like all great and terrible work stories, this one started in the breakroom. People feel free to say things in the breakroom that they don’t say out on the floor. Apparently, our store had received numerous calls from people who were angered or concerned about the new bathroom situation. The conversation erupted at the table next to mine and I couldn’t fully hear everything they were saying. So naturally, I went over to grab a cookie and interjected, “It’s ridiculous. Other stores are doing this or have been doing this for a long time now. The backlash is because Target made a public statement.” A woman seemed to agree with me, but then said, “That was their mistake, making a big deal about it.” I realized my mistake was not being clear enough on which side of the issue I stood.

I went back to my table and overheard her say something about a dad seeing his little girl go into the women’s restroom and then seeing a ‘creep’ walk in behind her. I also overheard a man say something about walking into the restroom after said ‘creep.’ I wasn’t hearing everything and didn’t get the whole context of their conversation, but I didn’t feel good about it. And the more I thought about it, the more frustrated I became.

I became frustrated that I didn’t speak up more, that I didn’t interject and correct their subtle, but insidious way of speaking about this issue. I became frustrated as I did what both my undergraduate and graduate schooling taught me to do: dissect and analyze how we speak and act. I realized that the woman’s comment about Target’s announcement being a mistake was subtly oppressive. If confronted, she probably wouldn’t even know that what she said was harmful to trans people. If Target didn’t announce their stores as a safe place for all peoples, particularly transgender persons, then how would a transgender person know it was a safe place? To compare, if I don’t make it known that I have a husband or that I’m a safe space for LGBTQ folk, then how are people supposed to know that they can come talk to me or confide in me? Similarly, for Target to be known as a safe space is infinitely better than Target being an unknown or an unsure place of safety for trans people.

I was also frustrated because of her ‘creep’ comment. She associated transgender people with ‘creeps’ who want to hurt children. If that’s not what she meant, then she simply shouldn’t have said it. People who want to hurt children will do it, regardless if there is a law in place about bathroom preference. And, fifty years ago, even twenty years ago in some places (and even today in some parts of this country), people would have considered me a ‘creep.’ As a gay man, I would have been the one to fear giving a teaching job to because people assumed I would sexually assault a child. I would have been labeled a creep and a pervert.

So, let’s use our words more wisely. Let us speak up for trans people, for people simply trying to be true to themselves. Even further, let us speak out against bigotry, against subtle and insidious ways of thinking and speaking. I pray that we may have the wisdom to discern people’s intentions, actions, and words and to correct them when they are not loving, not being kind, patient, or understanding. May we be love our trans siblings well through our words and actions. May we love well our queer neighbors who are simply trying to find their way in the world. May we make the journey easier for them. And to do that, it means stepping up and claiming your store to be a safe space for trans people to use a restroom, even if it is a small statement and a small victory.

 

Pictured above is the Transgender Pride Flag.

Wikipedia article on the Transgender Pride Flag: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transgender_flags

Additional resource created by the fabulous human, Colleen Toole, concerning transgender folk and the Church: http://bit.ly/1ZoOfjN