A year ago today, Reed asked me to marry him on a cold, sunny day in Princeton, New Jersey amidst the snowy woods near the canal. It was picturesque and I had no idea it was happening. He asked if I wanted to go on a walk and I was thrilled with the prospect. I had so much to tell him about. As we walked outside, he walked one way and I walked the other. He said, “Let’s go to the canal.” I said, “It’s muddy.” He said, “Let’s go to the canal.” I pointed at the mud by the sidewalk and said, “It’s muddy.” He said, “Let’s go,” and started walking. I said, “Fine. But, if it’s muddy, we’re turning around and walking on the sidewalk!”
He soon got me busy talking about something else while we winded our way back to the path behind the woods. On occasion I complained about not having my boots or different shoes with me, but I eventually forgot about it until he veered off the path to a place in the woods. “What’s this?” he said as he traipsed off towards a scene of chairs in the distance. I shouted my complaints and displeasure at traipsing through the inches of snow. We got to the edge of a carpet laid upon the snow and there I stood with my arms on my hips. Reed walked onto the carpet, leaving snowy footprints behind him and plopped himself in a chair. I pointed at the carpet and exclaimed, “You’re getting snow on it!” I thought it was someone else’s that they had set up for a photoshoot (something I would have done in college). He chuckled.
Then I saw it: a memory jar we had made together on a date at the beginning of January. Then my eyes hit the picture of the two of us at a Christmas event in college. As it dawned on me what was happening, I whipped around to see a camera disappear behind a tree. My mind raced, my feet stepped back, my mouth gasped and I couldn’t believe that I was being proposed to. It was everything I had ever wanted, surprise and intentionality and love and affection. He finally asked if I would sit down and so I did. He handed me one of the most beautiful letters he had ever written and then got down on a knee and asked me to marry him.
After I said yes and we reveled in the moment, our friends came out from behind the trees where they had been waiting, taking photographs. We rejoiced together and then packed up the picturesque arrangement Reed and our friends had worked to put together. Then, we went by another friend’s place to “let her know that I had said yes.” When she opened the door, a group of some of our closest friends in New Jersey shouted “SURPRISE!” Reed had not only planned an intimate engagement, but then planned a gathering of my favorite people to celebrate with us. It was more than I ever could have imagined for a proposal. I rode that high for weeks.
It has now almost been almost 5 months of marriage and I could not imagine doing engagement, wedding planning, and life as a married couple with anyone else. We are constantly learning how to love each other better because neither one of us is the same as we were a year ago. We are ever-changing, moving and growing and being molded into new people each day. It takes work and effort to grow together, to be shaped and molded in a similar fashion together. It takes perseverance and honesty and putting the other person first to learn how to love this ever-evolving person beside you each day. It means making decisions together on the trivial things and having long conversations about how to spend our money and what’s important to us to invest in. It takes love of God and people and each other and ourselves and we’re doing our best. Thank you to friends and family who have surrounded us with love and laughter and celebration. You have made our journey into marriage lighter and filled with more beauty than I ever could have imagined. Thank you to my handsome husband, you have given me life and laughter far more than I could have asked or hoped for. You are my best friend and partner in crime, always.
Timothy Burge-Lape 