Often I have heard this refrain from people who advocate for integrating into U.S. life. People say, “When you’re in America, speak English.” There is the whole problem of U.S. Americans referring to the U.S. as simply America or U.S. citizens as Americans, but we’ll get to that later. Right now, I want us to focus on speaking English, the language some people are adamant that we should speak when we are in the United States. I have often heard this from older generations, sometimes younger, but mostly older. I live in the middle of the U.S., so it’s mostly from older white folk who for most of their lives have lived around other white folk who only speak English. It was what they grew up speaking, some might have even studied French or German in high school, but nothing further.

I grew up differently than generations above me. Spanish was the only language offered in my small town high school, so that was the foreign language I studied for four years. I have heard fears that Spanish will overtake English so much so that road signs in the Midwest will begin appearing only in Spanish. Fear is alive and real in the phrase “Just speak English.” The root of the emotion is not indignation or pride or righteousness. It is fear. It is fear of the unknown, fear of not being able to communicate with the world around oneself. It is the fear of not being able to navigate a world that for sixty-two, sixty-five, seventy years made sense. It is the fear of growing old in a world that used to be familiar, but is no longer one that is recognizable or navigable. To be in a world where written and verbal communication is limited and the majority of people don’t know sign language would be a difficult world to live in. I can understand that would be terrifying for people growing up in a time without much globalization.

Now to the folks who use the phrase, “Just speak English,” I would ask that you attempt to understand that very fear yourselves. I’d ask that you imagine a life so difficult and bleak that you immigrate to a different country. Your options feel so dire that you would pick up your whole life and move across the border or the ocean or the world. Maybe practicing Christianity is now against the law or you’ve fallen on hard times and there seems to be no way out of poverty. So, you pack up a few belongings and take your spouse and children with you in search of freedom and prosperity.

When you arrive in this new country you find that you are surrounded by people who look different from you, feel different to you, and speak a different language from you. You’ve heard how this country is so prosperous, such a great place to raise a family and pull yourself out of poverty. You’ve heard all these stories and then when you get there, you have to deal with the reality that nobody can understand you and you cannot understand them. When you finally find a job, it’s one low on the totem pole in society, and mostly other people who occupy those spots are people similar to you, immigrants. They are people who speak a different language from the majority and oftentimes it is the same language as you. You feel at home around these people because you can communicate with them. You also cannot get a different kind of job. You’re working 40 hours a week, if not more than that, to put your children through school. You might even be working two different jobs, attempting to give your children a better life than you had.

Meanwhile, your children are learning that country’s language because they’re surrounded by it each day. They hear it spoken from their teachers and peers, read it in their textbooks, and listen to it at home while watching television. Their minds are young and far more malleable than yours. Language seeps in and soon it becomes the main language in which they communicate and you find it hard to communicate with your own children. You’re working so much that you don’t have the time, the finances, or the energy to take a language class or buy resources to help you learn the language. And really, you’re there to give your children a better life and so your own wants and desires take the backseat to your children’s success. Can you imagine how difficult that would be? Can you imagine how that might feel?

Then add to it that people from the country tell you to ‘just speak the language.’ They yell at you in the grocery store or you hear politics on the tv and they’re shouting at you to ‘learn the language or go home.’ Can you imagine the feeling? Can you feel the heartbreak? The disappointment? The despair?

Now, take these feelings and transform them into empathy. Try to understand the feelings of people who immigrate to the U.S. Try to put yourself in their shoes and understand that most of these people are not malicious; they’re simply trying to make a better life for their families. Try to understand their own fears, their own worries, and their own frustration and confusion and fear in trying to communicate with English-only speakers. Try to understand that when we tell people to ‘Just speak English,’ there are a host of reasons why it might not be that simple for them. Try to understand the hard work immigrants are bringing to our country, the effort they’re putting into working and living and making the best life they are able for their family.

If we can understand a little bit how their journey is already difficult, we might learn that we don’t want to make it any harder. We might find that empathy and compassion have a place in our society. We might find that we value empathy and compassion along with hard work. We might find ourselves growing empathetic to the situation of immigrants, particularly of refugees who have fled direct persecution for some reason or another. We might even find it in our collective consciousness that the U.S. has always been rumored to welcome foreigners, to welcome ingenuity, hard work, the prospect of making life better for one’s self and one’s family. Whether or not those rumors are true (because we have a notorious history of actually treating immigrants awfully), these ideas remain in our periphery and are important values to bring into focus.

Now, I would like to address our use of language concerning America and American. Precision of language is important, especially in the way we refer to ourselves and others. Because there are over 30 countries part of the Americas (North and South), it is highly misleading to say that ‘you’re in America, speak American’ or ‘you’re in America, speak English.’ The United States of America is but one country of many in the Americas and when we say America or Americans to refer exclusively to the United States, it places us at the center of the West. It adds to our collective ego and pride making it harder for us to understand other countries in the Americas as our equals. Instead, this language unconsciously or consciously places other countries beneath us. If you feel the need to be exclusionary, then say “You’re in the United States, speak English.” However, that is still misleading since we have never declared an official language. The beauty of our country is that anyone ought to be welcome and to bring their language and culture with them. We can learn loads from other peoples and cultures. Ours is a country that is stronger when we are not only diverse, but when we embrace and celebrate our diversity. Celebration of our diversity has the power to bring us together while fear of each other’s differences serves only to weaken us.

So, I ask for you to consider empathy. I ask for you to consider understanding. I ask for you to consider diversity a good thing, that it’s never too late to learn from someone else what it means to be human and to be truly alive. I ask you not to be blind to our differences, but rather to celebrate them, lift them up and hold them tight while we dance and sing and hold each other’s hands. Because let’s face it, we’re all in this together. And if we can’t do this together, it’s never going to get better.